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Welcome to DeptQ and our selection of Platinum Quotations. What we say to one another can be inspirational, change lives, conquer civilizations, or simply pad our speeches. Words are as insignificant as funny msn quotes, preferably short msn quotes, as we may otherwise fall prey to attention span deficit. Others are fire hot quotes that have dribbled from the mouths of celebrities, politicians and literary philosophers. Or we steal them to contribute to our friends as retirement sayings and funny sayings. We cannot live without famous quotes. We live better with cute quotes, especially from the innocent and romantic. Love quotes we apologetically borrow and use to impress our loved ones. Friendship quotes we gather to add to our toasts at weddings, along with
a smattering of funny quotes. Inspirational quotes guide us. Movie quotes capture our attention especially if the
cinematic production holds meaning to our ordinary lives. Motivational quotes can be contrived - a teacher's attempt to mold us. But overall, we most appreciate those accidental flubs, stumbles, and attempts to sound important, that come from the mouths of babes and politicians. Enjoy the distillations of man's attempt to impress his listeners. 15hqqq.
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
 1 "The public doesn't care about figures." - 2 "I just forgot our state governor's name, but I know that you will help me recall him."
- 3 "Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave."
- 4 "It's the most difficult [decision] I've made in my entire life, except the one I made in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax."
- 5 "Having chicks around is the kind of thing that breaks up the intense training. It gives you relief, and then afterward you go back to the serious stuff."
Antiques:
- 1 "Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover." (Classified Ad)
- 6 "Have you noticed how people who prize an antique for its beauty, suddenly find it unsightly when it turns out to be a fake?" (Henny Youngman)
- 2 "The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual male spawned in Manhattan as the result of overexposure to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theatre and antique furniture." (Sex and the City)
- 3 "Give me insight into today and you may have the antique and future worlds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
- 4 "GEOLOGY, n. The science of the earth's crust --to which, doubtless, will be added that of its interior whenever a man shall come up garrulous out of a well. The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones or mired mules, gas-pipes, miners' tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent pavements, grass, snakes, mouldy boots, beer bottles, tomato cans, intoxicated citizens, garbage, anarchists, snap-dogs and fools." (Ambrose Bierce: Devil's Dictionary)
- 5 "Among the virtues and vices that make up the British character, we have one vice, at least, that Americans ought to view with sympathy. For they appear to be the only people who share it with us. I mean our worship of the antique. I do not refer to beauty or even historical association. I refer to age, to a quantity of years." (William G. Golding)
- 7 "The stuff in my house is all antique; the table is 1492, and the chairs cost a few bucks more." (Milton Berle)
Authority:
- 1 "No children allowed." (Florida maternity ward)
- 2 "We buy junk and sell antiques." (Country shop)
- 3 "Open seven days a week and weekends" (Maine restaurant)
- 4 "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs." (road sign)
- 5 "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager." (NY restaurant)
- 6 "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." (NE church)
- 7 "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?" (Oregon general store)
- 8 "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law." (Sisters of Mercy)
Britney Spears:
- 1 "I am a really big Elvis fan and I think the reason why we did the whole Elvis thing is because, you know, he's from Vegas."
- 2 "I like most of the places I've been to, but I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't like eating fish, and I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
- 3 "Where the hell is Australia, anyway?"
- 4 "I get to go to a lot of famous places, like Canada."
- 5 "I love seeing all my Mexican fans from the north."
Death & Old Age:
- 1 "Death would be a beautiful place if it looks like Brad Pitt." (Carmen Electra)
- 2 "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." (George Burns)
- 3 "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" (Woody Allen)
- 4 "Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate." (Ambrose Bierce)
- 5 "Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! You're not alive anymore!'" (Anonymous)
- 6 "Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down." (Dick Sharples)
George W. Bush:
- 1 "They misunderestimated me!"
- 2 "We stand for things."
- 3 "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- 4 "I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"
- 5 "He married a Texas girl ... a West Texas girl, just like me."
- 6 "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
- 7 "Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter."
Annie Oglypuss:
- 1 "Civilization is about as civilized as it's going to get."
- 2 "A big mouth makes an excellent target."
- 3 "Avoid remedial classes for girls, which are hazardous."
- 4 "Never stroll a public beach without phasors set to stun."
- 5 "A good tantrum takes a lot of practice."
- 6 "Loyalty depends on the strength of the leash."
- 7 "A vigorous scream daily preserves the complexion."
- 8 "Only male life skills develop faster from Stooge Fest videos."
- 9 "I might acknowledge others! If they acknowledge me!"
Prince Philip:
- 1 "The best thing to do with a degree is to forget it." (at the University of Salford.)
- 2 "You can't have been here that long; you haven't got a pot belly (to a Briton in Hungary.)"
- 3 "I declare this thing open -- whatever it is." (on the opening of the Vancouver City Hall annex.)
- 4 "It's a pleasant change to be in a country that isn't ruled by its people." (To the Paraguayan dictator.)
- 5 "So you're responsible for the kind of crap Channel Four produces." (to a network television chairman.)
- 6 "The monarchy system adds gaiety to politics."
- 7 "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them to pass the test?" (to a Scottish driving instructor.)
- 8 "You managed not to get eaten then." (to a student hiking in New Guinea.)
- 9 "If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly."
Marriage:
- 1 "In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." (Rita Rudner)
- 2 "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." (Patrick Murray)
- 3 "The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much." (Colin Chapman)
- 4 "When you see what some girls marry, you realize how much they must hate to work for a living." (Helen Rowland)
- 5 "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late." (Max Kaufman)
- 6 "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." (Oscar Wilde)
- 7 "My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine." (Fibber McGee)
- 8 "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." (Helen Rowland)
Men:
- 1 "Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men." (Kin Hubbard)
- 2 "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things." (Jilly Cooper)
- 3 "I married beneath me. All women do." (Nancy Astor)
- 4 "There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus." (Bob Philips)
- 5 "An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife." (Franklin Adams)
- 6 "The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest." (Roseanne Barr)
- 7 "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." (Gloria Steinem)
Rodney Dangerfield:
- 1 "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
- 2 "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
- 3 "We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
Stupid:
 
- 1 "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" (Christina Aguilera)
- 2 "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." (Charles De Gaulle)
- 3 "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)
- 4 "I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to." (Linda Evangelista, Supermodel)
- 5 "I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." (French Ambassador)
- 6 "Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." (BBC Anchorwoman)
- 7 "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." (New York City Mayor)
- 8 "If only faces could talk..." (Sportscaster)
- 9 "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Terry Venables)
- 10 "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." (Ronald Reagan)
- 11 "640k ought to be enough for anybody." (1981: Bill Gates)
- 12 "We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." (Vlade Divac, NBA player)
- 13 "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." (Pedro Guerrero, baseball player)
- 14 "We've been working on the basics because, basically, we've been having trouble with the basics." (Bob Ojeda, baseball pitcher)
- 15 "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win." (Yogi Berra)
- 16 "The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." (David Garcia)
- 17 "We have only one person to blame, and that's each other." (Barry Beck, hockey player)
- 18"Solutions are not the answer." (Richard Nixon)
Talent:
- 1 "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall." (Mitch Hedberg)
- 2 "If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?" (Steven Wright)
- 3 "A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself." (Lisa Kirk)
- 4 "We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like." (Jean Cocteau)
- 5 "It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't." (Arthur Gore)
- 6 "I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife." (Ilie Nastase)
- 7 "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." (Dave Barry)
Translations:
- 1 "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily." (Athens hotel)
- 2 "Drop your trousers here for best results." (Bangkok cleaners)
- 3 "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable." (Budapest hotel)
- 4 "We take your bags and send them in all directions." (Copenhagen airport)
- 5 "For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service." (Hong Kong supermarket)
- 6 "Ladies may have a fit upstairs." (Hong Kong tailors)
- 7 "Please to bathe inside the tub." (Japan hotel)
- 8 "Bargain basement upstairs." (London store)
- 9 "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it." (Moscow hotel)
- 10 "Special today -- no ice cream." (Swiss inn)
- 11 "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." (Vienna hotel)
Websites:
- 1 "By choosing the 'fast' service, the requested review or modification will happen the same day (maximum 48 hours)." (Links-pal.com)
Women:
- 1 "Specialist in women and other diseases" (sign in Roman doctor's office)
- 2 "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?" (Sigmund Freud)
- 3 "Most women are not as young as they are painted." (Max Beerbohm)
- 4 "Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man." (Erica Jong)
- 5 "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." (Aristotle Onassis)
- 6 "Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one." (WC Fields)
- 7 "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another." (HL Mencken)
- 8 "You know why blondes have more fun? They're easier to find in the dark." (Dolly Parton)
- 9 "The hairdo for the dance must interest a suitable gentleman and not some deadbeat looking for a good time." (Hairselect.com)
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